84: God Provides
It was middle of July in Florida and it was HOT. The sun beating down, the air heavy with humidity. My eyelashes were drenched, drops of sweat breaking through their protective barrier, blurring my vision and burning my eyes. The air was so thick and still I could barely breathe it in. Oh and also? I was running.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a runner, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still try sometimes. Occasionally, I’ll go on what I refer to as a run-walk (or R-ALK for short, maybe? I don’t know, I just I came up with that). But anyway, during a run-walk, I run at a mediocre pace until my legs and lungs give out, and then I walk until I’ve recovered enough to run again. Some might call this interval training; I call it survival of the not-very-fittest.
And so I found myself run-walking in the middle of the day in the middle of July in Florida. My morning and evening were both full that particular day, and sometimes I just have to fit it in when I can. So, middle of the day it was.
Again, it was sweltering. I was growing more and more uncomfortable with each stride I took. I started walking to slow down, much earlier than I’d planned, but even my slower pace couldn’t subdue the intensity of the sun. All I could do was keep moving forward along the route, slowly inching closer and closer to home, longing for the A/C and the ice-cold glass of water I knew were waiting for me.
And then, I turned a corner. Literally. Onto a tree-lined street. Under the shade of their pine and live oak branches, it felt 10 degrees cooler and I started to breathe a little easier, grateful for the canopy of trees seemingly reaching out to protect me, or at least give me a respite from what was definitely becoming unbearable. I was grateful for their shade. It was exactly what I needed.
Fast-forward several months, only a couple weeks ago if you’re listening in real-time, and it was unseasonably cold here in Florida. It’d gone from sweltering to sweater-weather, if you will. Now, when I say “cold” I mean cold for Florida. If you live further north, which is probably most of you, you’d laugh at what counts as “cold” in my book. Nonetheless, because I wasn’t expecting this cooler weather, I wasn’t dressed for it while out for another run-walk in the neighborhood.
This time, I was shivering. Skin like a chicken, chattering teeth, and stinging lungs as I breathed in the sharp air. I was on a route with lots of trees, tons of shade. But what I longed for this time, ironically, was the warmth of the sun. So when I finally made it to a street with less trees, I was grateful. My body began to loosen and thaw. The heat I’d so despised months earlier was now exactly what I needed.
It’s interesting to notice that, as the seasonal circumstances changed, so did my need. It’s funny how that works in life, too.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t always need the same things. My needs often shift and change. Sometimes, I need the metaphorical shade of a tree. Other times, I need the warmth of the sun. In this particular season of life, I’m learning to trust God’s provision, that God will meet me where I am and provide exactly what I need, even if I don’t know it’s what I need in the moment.
This is not new or unique to me and my experience. In fact, we see examples of God’s creative provision all throughout scripture. And one of my favorite sections on this topic begins in Exodus 13. In it, God has just brought the Israelites out of Egypt, and is calling them to a new celebration called the Festival of Unleavened Bread, meant to help them commemorate and remember God’s provision, God leading them out of over 400 years of captivity. Then, for the next several chapters, we read how God creatively provides in unexpected ways as God’s people make their way through the wilderness.
When they are stuck, God parts the Red Sea. When they are thirsty, God transforms bad, bitter water into fresh, drinkable water. And, at other times, he brings water forth from a rock. When they are hungry, God provides the nourishment of quail and manna.
Clearly, we see God providing for their physical needs in all sorts of ways. But one of my favorite ways we see God provide is through the pillar of cloud and the pillar of fire. These two forms of God’s presence and guidance are mentioned throughout the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, also known as the Torah. But we first learn about them in Exodus 13:17-22. In an excerpt from The Message version, we read:
17 It so happened that after Pharaoh released the people, God didn’t lead them by the road through the land of the Philistines, which was the shortest route, for God thought, “If the people encounter war, they’ll change their minds and go back to Egypt.”
18 So God led the people on the wilderness road, looping around to the Red Sea.
20-22 They moved on from Succoth (Soo-keth) and then camped at Etham at the edge of the wilderness. God went ahead of them in a Pillar of Cloud during the day to guide them on the way, and at night in a Pillar of Fire to give them light; thus they could travel both day and night. The Pillar of Cloud by day and the Pillar of Fire by night never left the people.
In this text, we witness the presence of God, in the form of a cloud by day and a fire by night, according to what God’s people needed at the time, helping them continue to make their way through the wilderness, enabling them to keep going. In different forms, God was with them every step of the way, never leaving their side.
That same God is with us today. Our God is still a God of provision. And I’m finding there are a couple things that are important to keep in mind as we remember this vital truth.
First, God’s provision is not problem-solving. As much as we wish we could escape the dark, the uncertainty, the questions, the struggles, sometimes that’s just where we are. That was certainly true for the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. God didn’t provide by swooping in and saving the day, fast-forwarding them through the difficulty. Remember, God knew the shorter route wasn’t the best one. Instead, God provided through daily bread and constant presence. God knew what they needed, even if it wasn’t what they wanted. God met them right where they were, day in and day out.
Second, God has not stopped providing in this way, but today, through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, we are often the means of God’s provision. If you can remember all the way back to episode 1: we are reminders. And we are called to remind others of God’s provision. We can do this in so many different ways, of course, depending on the need: through a kind word, a welcoming invitation, a financial contribution, a nourishing meal, a faithful vote, a listening ear, a steady presence, or meeting a material need. God often provides for others through us, and for us through others.
Just last week, God provided for me in a way I wasn’t expecting, which, in my experience, seems to be very “on-brand” for God. I received a rejection email for a job opportunity I was ecstatic about. It was one of those jobs that, at least on paper, seemed to so perfectly integrate my gifts and my passions and my current season of life. I could not stop thinking about this job. So, as you might imagine, when I saw that email, I just crumbled inside. However, I was about to share at a conference and couldn’t let myself crumble on the outside. I had to be “on.”
So, long story short, I made it through the day but felt totally deflated and distracted by my disappointment. I could feel the tears crowding behind my eyelids, ready to burst forth when the time was right. But I still had one thing on the agenda that I didn’t want to miss: dinner with a few friends I hadn’t seen in quite some time.
And at this dinner, God provided exactly what I didn’t know I needed in that moment, through my friends. We caught up, ate good food, laughed, and then they took some time to affirm and encourage me, without even knowing about the rejection I’d received that morning. While I knew I still needed a good sob later on, right then I needed to be in good company. They were God’s provision and kindness to me, reminders of God’s presence with me in the midst of my hurt and disappointment.
God didn’t provide through the job, but God still met me in my most pressing need. Often, when we’re in the middle of the dark wilderness, what we want is for God to hurry up and usher in the new day. But maybe what we really need is to gather together with God around the glow of the fire and stay awhile.
Today, if you feel the weight of your need, remember, even as our needs shift and change, God provides. Not always in the ways we want, but in exactly the ways we need. May we choose to notice God’s provision and presence with us each day, and as we do, may we continue to be the embodied reminders God is calling us to be.