82: Examen Your Life

In the last episode, remind{h}er 81, we talked about the importance of being where you are. Fully present and open to the movement of God in the circumstances of your life. And we considered that our ability to be present is often dependent on our awareness of God’s presence. You’re more than welcome to listen to that episode if you haven’t already, so I won’t repeat it all here, but in a way, today’s episode is a practical continuation of that same reminder.

The truth is, paying attention to the presence of God takes practice. And I’ve heard from a few listeners who are considering how they might do just that. So today, I’d like to respond by sharing a contemplative spiritual practice that, at least in my experience, can help us as we seek to be where we are.

This past summer, I accompanied a group of high school students to the mountains of North Carolina for their annual youth conference. The jury is still out on whether or not this “worked,” but for better or worse, I led the group through a reflection at the end of each day. I did this in the hopes that we could all take notice of how God was at work within and among each of us. I asked questions like,

What was life-giving today?

What was draining today?

What are you grateful for?

What bothered you?

Where did you see God?

At the end of each day, we collectively took some time to answer each of those questions. Some students chose to write their answers in a journal. Some preferred to just think about it. And at the end of the week, I heard from a small handful of students who shared that spending those few minutes looking back on their day was peaceful and grounding. And in my experience, I couldn’t agree more.

For me, the daily rhythm of asking these kinds of questions and answering them honestly continues to help me be where I am because it helps me trace the presence and movement of God throughout the circumstances of my day.

The truth is, though, this kind of reflection is not new. And it’s certainly not something I came up with. In fact, it’s a practice that has been around for centuries. The space I tried to create for those high school students was inspired by a prayer called the Daily Examen. Maybe you’ve heard of it.

It’s attributed to St. Ignatius of Loyola, who lived about 500 years ago. Among his many contributions to the contemplative church was this prayer, the Daily Examen, a practice focused on noticing the presence and movement of God by paying attention to your actual life.

Traditionally, it includes five major movements: 1} acknowledging God’s presence, 2} assuming a posture of gratitude, 3} reviewing your day and naming the emotions connected to each experience, 4} welcoming what was difficult and where you fell short, and 5} turning toward tomorrow with hope.

Now, I am not an expert on the Daily Examen, and in the show notes, I will link to a few resources that have shaped my understanding of it. Really, following these movements can be done in many different ways, through all sorts of different approaches and questions. But here’s how it could look; it’s meant to last about 15 minutes and can include writing down what surfaces in a journal, if you so choose:

Start by quiet-ing yourself. Take a few deep breaths. And then pray that you would be aware of God’s presence with you during this time, in these very moments. In many ways, during the examen, we are seeking God’s perspective, trying to filter our memory through God’s point of view, trying to see our day through God’s eyes. During this movement, we acknowledge that we need God to be with us, to guide us, to show us what is true.

After that first movement, bring to mind all you are grateful for from your day. This might be really easy for some, and a real struggle for others. It kind of just depends on the day. This second movement isn’t meant to be disingenuous, downplaying or ignoring what was difficult; but it is about noticing God’s provision, highlighting the gifts of the day, even if it feels like they are few and far between. Practicing gratitude helps illuminate God’s grace, especially when we might have missed it in the moment.

The third movement involves reviewing your day, perhaps replaying it as if you were watching a movie. The goal is not necessarily to make sure you include every single thing that happened; the goal is to pay attention to how each happening made you feel. What was the main emotion you experienced at that time? Joy? Fear? Overwhelm? Peace? How might that emotion reflect your awareness of God’s presence in that particular moment? There are no wrong answers in this movement, but honesty is key.

In the fourth movement, you will pick a moment from your review of the day that was particularly difficult. From there, you will consider what went wrong and how you might have fallen short in that moment. To put it a bit more bluntly, this movement is an opportunity to be honest about our sin. Not so we can wallow in it or hand our inner critic a megaphone, but so we can experience freedom and continue to grow, becoming more like Christ. Because, while this isn’t always the case, it’s often subtle sin that blocks our awareness of God. Rather than covering it up, we choose to dig up the sin within, in the presence of a loving God who is with us and for us even in all our mess. We name it, we repent of it, we give it to God, and we ask for God’s help as we seek to eradicate it.

Finally, in the fifth and final movement, you look ahead. You consider what you will commit to do tomorrow, with God’s help. Always with God’s help. The looking back during the examen acts as a catalyst, propelling us into the next day and all that it might hold. All that we unearth during this practice will hopefully inform how we show up in the future, maybe even the very next day.

What I’ve come to realize about the Daily Examen is that it is a practice built on remembering. Though our recent memories might be incomplete, they can still draw us closer to the heart of God and help us notice God’s movement in our lives going forward. What’s interesting is that the more we practice looking back, the more we will notice God in the moment moving forward. An increased awareness of God’s presence helps us to be present, right where we are. For me, this practice has led to a more centered sense of peace, even in the midst of chaos. And I know that, in and of itself, is a grace, a gift.

We believe in God-Already-With-Us, all throughout our days, all throughout our lives, right where we are. The key is choosing to notice, and for me, the Daily Examen has been a helpful tool.

As author and all-around wonderful person, Sarah Bessey, recently wrote on Instagram,

…”the truth is that you’re already connected with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is with you, always, even to the end of the age, right? And so I think the question for us now is how are we cultivating an awareness of the conversation already happening?”

Sarah continues,

“Look at your life as it stands for those moments when you sense God’s joy or presence, however surprising. When are the moments when you feel most alive and engaged? Where are you seeing God’s goodness or invitation? …the Spirit is hiding in plain sight in our right-now lives. I’ve connected with the Holy Spirit through herons and on the pathways of the neighborhood, in reading stories with my kids and in Marvel movies, in poetry and long nights of pain, in food and at protests. It’s both an adventure and a daily rhythm of companionship now.”

So today, remember to examen your life. Start with today. Just this one beautiful, difficult, ordinary day. May we find God in unexpected places. And as we become more aware of God’s presence, may we in turn be more present and attuned to the inner workings of the Spirit, all throughout our days, right where we are.

Resources: A Simple Life-Changing Prayer by Jim Manney, Ignatian Spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius