50: Created For Community

This past weekend, Brad and I randomly decided to watch the movie, Cast Away, with Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt. It came out in 2000 and quickly became a box office hit. In fact, I remember seeing it in an actual theater and all the buzz was about how engaged the audience remained during a film that literally has about 45-minutes of no music, no dialogue, no fast-paced plot line that we typically expect to keep us entertained. All we got were the sights and sounds of the island and Tom Hanks’ character, Chuck, doing what he could to survive. It felt somewhat groundbreaking at the time.

Before I get too ahead of myself, if you don’t know the premise, or if it’s been a good long while, I’ll give you a brief plot synopsis: Chuck Noland, played by Tom Hanks, is a big Fed Ex exec whose flight tragically crashes, leaving him as the sole survivor on a tiny little island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

From there, the movie follows along as Chuck figures out how to make a life for himself - all by himself - on the island.  And it’s interesting to think about what helped him survive there for nearly four years. Thanks to what was inside some Fed Ex packages that washed up to shore, it didn’t take him too long to figure out basic needs like food and shelter, though both were obviously less than ideal. And he was able to remain safe and healthy for the most part, give and take a couple injuries here and there. 

But really, I think the key to Chuck’s survival or his will to survive was revealed by what seemed to be the most useless item from one of those washed up Fed Ex packages - a volleyball.

Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you probably know what, or who, I’m referring to. It turns out, the volleyball was a main character. Chuck got creative and sketched a face onto the volleyball; its brand name, Wilson, fittingly became its personal name; and just like that, Wilson the volleyball was Chuck’s sidekick and very best friend. 

Tom Hanks did a phenomenal job convincing us of Chuck’s connection with Wilson. Through his performance, we as the audience become attached to Wilson, too. And - spoiler alert - when Wilson eventually floats away, I’ll admit, it’s heart wrenching and incredibly difficult to keep it together. 

Now, the idea of relationship and connection is laced all throughout the movie in many different ways, too many to dissect in one episode. However, one of the things Wilson reminds me of is that connection is not a luxury, but a basic need. Chuck’s friendship with Wilson kept him sane. He recognized that he needed to feel like he wasn’t alone. He needed someone to talk, laugh and cry with. Not just for fun or entertainment, but as a very real means for survival. And for me, it’s a great reminder of the fact that we are created for relationship.

In her book, Lifelong Leadership, MaryKate Morse puts it this way:

“Community isn’t some general instinct calling us to live life in proximity. It is a basic life-force that drives us to feel complete only when we are in community. We yearn for attachment with others. We want to know and be known.”

In many ways, the past year and a half has revealed this truth to us. We haven’t been stranded on an island, but we have felt the separation caused by a pandemic. We’ve become accustom to working from home, contactless delivery, virtual worship - basically staying away from one another. In my experience, I didn’t quite realize my deep-seeded need for connection until it was gone. And even then, I didn’t realize it right away.

Back during remind{h}er 42, Reflect on Purpose, I shared briefly about how I’ve been reminded recently of this, of the importance of community. I’ll admit, my introverted self thrived in the beginning stages of the pandemic, but as time went on, I began to recognize the impact lack of human interaction was having in my own life. Screens and texts just weren’t cutting it. Maybe you felt something similar?

We were not created to be isolated. While there is certainly a time - and a need - for solitude, we are also called to community. In fact, there are studies and cases where lack of connection was extremely detrimental to development and overall well-being. I recently read about a young woman named Genie in a book by Warren Brown and Brad Strawn called The Physical Nature of Christian Life. Genie was discovered by Child Protective Services back in 1970 at the age of 13. It was glaringly obvious that she had been raised in extreme isolation, with little to no human contact or interaction. In the book, the authors share,

“When first discovered, Genie was thought to be autistic. She had several rocking and self-stimulating habits and was difficult to engage socially. Because of her limited opportunity for movement (such as walking or playing), her motor development was abnormal. She walked bent over with a type of bunny hop. At first, Genie had no language capacity and was basically mute. With extensive language training, she eventually gained some vocabulary, but she was never able to say words that sounded phonologically entirely correct, and she never developed more than minimal competence in grammar in either her speaking or comprehension of speech. Of course, her social interactions were severely abnormal with anger management and childlike behavioral interactions. It took her several months just to learn how to smile.”

Genie’s situation was an absolutely tragedy. Many leading doctors and psychologists contend that her lack of personal connection was a significant contributing factor to her state of being. And it’s heartbreaking.

When we are disconnected from one another, we are impacted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And here is why.

As human beings, we are created in the image of God. And so it should come as no surprise that relationship, connection, and community are vital to our well-being. Why? Well, because in many ways, our God is a God of relationship. In many ways, our Trinitarian God IS a relationship.

In his book, The Holy Longing, Ronald Rolheiser says it this way: 

“The God of the incarnation lives in a family, a trinity, a community of shared existence. Hence, to say that God is love is to say that God is community, family, shared existence, and whoever shares his or her existence inside of family and community experiences God and has the very life of God flow through her or him.”

Rolheiser adds,

“…a Christian spirituality is always as much about dealing with each other as it is about dealing with God.” 

We were created in and for community.

Now, these topics of connection, relationship, and community are big and so, of course, there will always be more to say. But for today, as we are slowly beginning to make our way out of a pandemic-lifestyle, I want to make sure we don’t forget - that I don’t forget - our need for community.

Now let me be clear: I am grateful for the ways in which technology keeps us connected. I have friends and family all over the place. Even my master’s program is mostly online and it’s been an incredibly rich experience thus far. So it’s not that community can’t be cultivated through a screen or on a Zoom call. I’m not suggesting we completely abandon online connection. It can and has been a valuable tool, for sure.

But in my own life, these are some questions I’m asking:

Am I choosing convenience over connection? 

In what ways am I prioritizing comfort over community? 

How has my recent routine impacted my relationships?

Our answers to those questions matter.

Many months ago, as the Florida heat began to ever so slightly cool down, our church began to offer short and simple midweek worship services - outdoors, masked and socially-distanced. And these services became a lifeline for me. After worshipping for many months in my pajamas and through a screen, I had forgotten what it meant to worship in community. I noticed that something different happened when I was praying with others, safely singing with others, and able to look others in the eye in conversation. I found that my faith was enriched in a different way when I was practicing it in community. Yes, in the presence of God, but also in the presence of others. Worship through a screen was beautiful in its own way for a season, but these services helped me remember that we’re better together.

There’s a passage in Scripture that talks about our need for connection. It’s typically read at weddings, but really, it names our need for one another in Christian community. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads,

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Today, remember, we were created for community and we are called into relationship. May we learn to seek the presence of God in the presence of others. And may we choose connection over convenience, community over comfort, recognizing the gift of relationship.