135: Celebrating FIVE Years | Q+A!

Alright, friends, today we are finally marking five years of the remind{h}er podcast. On April 1, 2020, the very first episode released into the world, and even though it’s a few weeks late, I’m excited to celebrate with you today. Several weeks ago, I began to collect some of your questions for this very episode and now, I’ll share my responses. I’m so grateful to those who contributed questions and to each of you who continue to listen in all these years later. What a gift.

We have five questions to celebrate five years, so, let’s get to it!

What is your favorite and least favorite part of hosting the podcast?

Currently, I would say my favorite part is the creative process. Now, I actually hesitate to say that, because that process can also be super frustrating depending on the week. But overall, it’s still my favorite part. From the forming of the idea to the writing it out and switching things around to then actually saying it with my out-loud voice—that process feels very whole to me and very true to who I am. I’ve mentioned this before, but for me, there is also a very spiritual piece to the creative process—so often I feel like I am being carried through it. I’ll hit the upload button and think, “There is no way I just did that on my own.” And that’s just the neatest feeling.

My least favorite part is that it often feels like I am sending each episode out into the void initially. I rarely get an immediate response the way I would if I were in the same room with you having a conversation or discussion. And because of that, the work can sometimes feel one-sided and somewhat lonely.

It’s not that I never get feedback. There are times I’ll get a message from someone saying how much an episode meant. Or I’ll run into another person while I’m out and about, and hear how they’ve shared the podcast with friends. Or I’ve even heard from a couple small groups letting me know how they sometimes use episodes as discussion starters or to guide their time together. And then, of course, there are the official metrics; I can glance at those numbers and remember there are, in fact, people listening in.

Still, I much prefer interaction and conversation in real time. And that’s something you just don’t get through a podcast. At least in my experience.

If you could own a house in three cities in America, with money not being an object, where would you choose?

This is a fun one :) Okay so I probably spent way too much time and energy considering my answer. So let me kind of guide you through my thought process here. My initial thought is that I love the beach; I love the mountains; and I love me some big city energy. So I would love a house at the beach, a house in the mountains, and an apartment in a big city. Now, there are so many spots in America I haven’t been to, but if I had to choose based on my experience thus far, I’d love to have a beach house on either Kiawah Island, SC, right outside of Charleston, or on Longboat Key, FL on the Gulf coast. For a mountain house, I’ve always loved the North Carolina mountains, so maybe a house in the Highlands, NC area or outside of Asheville. Montana is also breathtakingly beautiful, so a mountain house near Big Sky could work, too. And then for a spot in a big city, I’d love an apartment in New York City or maybe Chicago with easy access to shows, museums, and good food.

Okay listen, I’m sure my answer will be different a couple days from now, but today? That’s my answer and I’m sticking with it ;)

What book do you find yourself going back to again and again?

For the past few years, at the beginning of the year, part of my annual practice has been returning to In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen. It’s brief, but rich, and is always a message I need, in one way or another. It’s a good reset for me.

Soulful Spirituality by David Benner is another book I’ve returned to a couple times since my initial read, though I don’t necessarily have a plan to read it the way I do with In the Name of Jesus.

And then, somewhat recently, two books I picked up again were Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright and The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu. Both books meant a lot to me when I initially read them, but life circumstances and conversations this past year drew me back again. For me, all these books have been worth returning to, and I’ll link to each of them in the show notes in case you’re interested.

What are your thoughts about church family? In my experience, church should feel like family. But my new and current church really only feels like a place of worship with opportunities to serve and do ministry. Is that okay?

I’ve shortened and paraphrased this question a bit, but hopefully I’ve still captured the main sentiment.

Of course, there isn’t a straightforward answer to offer. Because church—even church family—is not one-size-fits-all. If it were, we wouldn’t have so many different denominations and types of ministry and worship styles and all the things that vary from church to church to church. That being said, this question does bring a couple things to mind:

I notice a desire here to be in relationship and to grow in faith with other people. That is a beautiful, good desire and a desire I believe God intends for us. I {and many others before me} have said it before: Faith is personal, but never private. We are created in the image of a relational God, and so it makes sense that we would desire to grow closer to God alongside other people. As theologian Simon Chan offers, “A Christian spirituality is as much about dealing with each other as it is about dealing with God.” We cannot become the people God intends for us to be all on our own. We need each other. So, I would consider that desire a welcome one.

But can those kinds of relationships only be found in a church context? In my experience, not necessarily. Now, I believe belonging to a local church matters immensely. It absolutely does. However, I remember being a part of a church for a time many years ago. It was a great fit for that particular season of my life. I was growing in my faith, stepping into new opportunities to serve, learning to appreciate a different style of worship, and doing it all alongside some really wonderful people. But I wouldn’t say those people were my closest friends. I wouldn’t say that particular church felt like family. My deepest, most close-knit relationships were outside that congregation. And yet, God was meeting me and stretching me in some really beautiful ways through that church. So for me, it was okay.

There is so much more to say {of course there is!}. No church is perfect. Every church has strengths and weaknesses. And so what I’ll offer for now in response involves circling back to the original question:

Is it okay for you? Is God meeting you and forming you in and through your current church? Even if it feels a bit unfamiliar? Even if it looks a little {or a lot} different? I wonder if different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong. And I wonder if maybe you might be different now, too. Maybe different could mean just right, for you, for now.

Certainly a church experience we miss—especially one that included our closest friends—is something to grieve. That is a reality we can’t gloss over. And. I would be curious to know what you like about your new church. I wonder what led you there. What has kept you there. It doesn’t have to be the right fit forever. But is it the right fit for now?

What do you think contributes to living a flourishing life?

What a beautiful question. Before we consider what contributes to a flourishing life, it seems important to consider how we might define a flourishing life. To me, a flourishing life is a life moving toward wholeness. It’s a life in which the fruit of the Spirit are being cultivated and experienced. It is not necessarily a life unaffected by hardship or suffering, but it is a life that is fully alive in the middle of it all.

I think of an image I’ve shared here before, way back in remind{h}er 73 from pastor and author Robert Mulholland. A life and faith that is fully alive—a flourishing life—is one that both breathes in and out.

It is a life that breathes in—that knows and seeks what it needs to be filled, nourished, and reminded of God’s sustaining presence with and within.

And it is a life that breathes out—that cares about the flourishing of others and participates in God’s good and holy work in the world.

To me, that is a whole, beautiful, flourishing life.

What contributes to it? Well, as per usual, I don’t know that there is a blanket answer I can offer. While there could very well be similarities and overlap, the particular ways in which we breathe in and out are unique to each of us. And so maybe, this is a question for all of us and for each of us to consider together:

In this particular season of life, what does it look like for you to breathe in? What practices, disciplines or activities fill you up, help you rest, and remind you of God’s presence with and within you?

And what does it look like for you to breathe out? How might God be inviting you to care for others and participate in God’s good, holy, healing work in your context or community?

May we continue to flourish and remember, as, together, we continue to become the people God calls and invites us to be.