121: Consider Spiritual Direction
Back near the beginning of this year, my sister and her family came for a visit. We live about five hours apart and don’t get to see each other nearly as often as we’d like. So, of course we were excited to simply spend some time together. But we were also looking forward to a hike we planned to take that weekend.
Now, a quick aside: I don’t know about you, but in my mind, when I hear the word, “hike,” one of the first words or images that pops into my brain is “mountain.” That’s probably because my very limited hiking experience has mostly taken place in the mountains. Steep inclines, elevated vistas, sprawling landscapes, incredible views. A mountain is a great thing to climb. The hike we took that weekend, though, involved zero mountains. Instead, for the very first time, I experienced what it’s like to hike within a canyon.
Providence Canyon State Park in Lumpkin, GA is about a two-hour drive from where we live in the Big Bend of Florida. It’s certainly not the Grand Canyon by any means {that one is still on my list}, but to me, Providence Canyon was still pretty impressive.
Like I said, hiking in a canyon was new to me. Instead of starting at ground level and climbing up, we started at ground level and worked our way down. Deeper and deeper we went into the canyon, below the surface, an upside-down hike of sorts, and it didn’t take long before I was absolutely mesmerized.
Long narrow paths led to large expansive caverns with teeny tiny crevices tucked in all along the way. The intricate root structures from trees planted above were exposed and open for inspection. We were surrounded on all sides by rich, brilliant color—the crisp blue of the sky above, the bright orange, deep purple, and glittering white of the canyon itself. And the texture of it all was surprising—rather than the the hard rock I was expecting, the canyon was soft and malleable and dare I say, squishy? There was so much to discover, so much to notice, so much to explore and enjoy, so many different directions to take. Who knew so much goodness could and would be found below the surface?
It was a trip and an experience I won’t soon forget, and somewhat surprisingly, it actually provided an image for me that has been particularly meaningful and helpful in the context of spiritual direction. Now, of course, it isn’t a perfect image or metaphor {I’m not sure a perfect metaphor exists for anything!}, but I do think it’s a helpful one when considering the gift and ministry of spiritual direction.
As I’ve worked toward becoming a spiritual director myself the past couple years, a question I am asked often is, what is spiritual direction? And it’s a great question! If you had told me four years ago that in four years, I would be a spiritual director, my response then would have been something like, “Excellent. What is that?”
Well, I’ve learned and experienced so much the past four years, and I’m thrilled to be able to explore that question with you today. Spiritual direction has actually been around for centuries, primarily within the Catholic Church, but it’s been making its way into Protestant streams the past few decades. That being said, there’s a whole lot that could be said, and it feels important to note that I won’t be able to cover it all right here, right now, but I do hope to at least begin a conversation as we consider the gifts spiritual direction has to offer. Also, what I share here is what I know now, in this present moment. I’m sure that as I continue to practice, my “definition” and understanding will continue to grow and become. And I think that’s a good, beautiful thing.
For now, we’ll explore these questions 1} What is spiritual direction? 2} What is the role of a spiritual director? 3} We’ll consider some of the practicalities of spiritual direction, like who spiritual direction is for and what a session might be like. So, without further ado, let’s get to it.
First, what is spiritual direction?
Well, at its most basic, spiritual direction is a form of prayer. Now, prayer certainly comes in many different shapes and sizes, with opportunities for it laced all throughout our lives. But spiritual direction in particular is an intentional time set aside to listen and notice and discern the presence and movement of God around you, and also the presence and movement of God within you.
Similar to exploring deep within a canyon, noticing all the contours, colors, and textures found below the surface, spiritual direction provides space for you to explore your life, your experiences, and your connection with God, listening deep down within you and all around you, while also considering how you might respond to all that you notice and discover.
In my own experience as a directee meeting with my spiritual director, over and over again, I find myself stepping below the surface, returning to my inherent belonging and belovedness. What has been most transformational is remembering and discovering that the Spirit of God is within the whole of who I am—mind, body, soul, all of it. And as I’ve settled in, listened, and deepened my awareness of God within, I’ve noticed a growing awareness of God all around—in my circumstances, the people I encounter, the work I feel called to do. I will say that while spiritual direction is not therapy or counseling, in my life, it has been incredibly healing.
Now, lest you think spiritual direction is just another form of navel-gazing, really, it helps us to tune in to the ways in which God is speaking and leading—how the Spirit is prompting—so that we can follow that lead and continue becoming the people God calls and invites us to be. In short, spiritual direction helps us to step more fully in sync with the Spirit.
As Eugene Peterson put it in his book, The Contemplative Pastor:
“The assumption of spirituality is that always God is doing something before I know it. So the task is…to become aware of what God is doing so that I can respond to it and participate and take delight in it.”
Second, what is the role of a spiritual director?
The good and beautiful thing about spiritual direction is that it isn’t something you participate in all on your own. Enter the spiritual director.
Now, typically, when we hear the title, “director,” that usually means the person who holds it is in charge. They have a plan, they are the expert, they know exactly where we need to go and they can tell us exactly what we need to do in order to get there. That is not so, though, for the role of a spiritual director.
A trained spiritual director knows and trusts that the actual Director is the Spirit of God. They are not trained as a mental health professional, a counselor, a coach, a pastor or a mentor. But they are trained as a deep contemplative listener—listening to you, and also listening for the movement of God in your experience.
As author and spiritual director Susan Phillips shares in her book, The Cultivated Life:
“The distinctive gift of [a spiritual director] is [their] primary commitment to directing people’s attention to the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives.”
In other words, a spiritual director companions you as you deepen and grow in your awareness of God with and within you. A trained spiritual director does not offer advice, solutions, instruction or formulas. A trained spiritual director does now show up with an agenda. Instead, they meet you right where you are; they offer space for silence, questions for reflection, and help in tracing the sacred threads of your life and being, as you listen and discern together. In other words, they head into the canyon with you, offering their full presence and attention, with kind curiosity along the way.
Now if at this point you’re wondering about the difference between spiritual direction and other helping professions like counseling or coaching, I’d love to point you to my friend and fellow spiritual director, Tiffani from Quotidian Joy. It’s an important distinction to make, and Tiffani offers a resource that outlines those differences in a very clear and helpful way. I’ll link to it in the show notes if you’d like to explore further!
Lastly, let’s consider some of the practicalities of spiritual direction.
Who is spiritual direction for? Truly, it’s for anyone with a desire to deepen their awareness of God’s presence with and within them. If you’re drawn to it, or have a curiosity about it, it’s for you. That being said, here are several specific experiences that often lead people to spiritual direction. If any of the following feels true for you, spiritual direction might be a good fit:
Once-familiar ways of relating to God don’t “work” or make sense anymore
Faith and life feel shaky, uncertain, stale or dry
You tend to forget God’s presence with and within you in your day-to-day life
You are seeking God’s will in your life and/or are curious about your calling or vocation
You long to discern how God is speaking and what God is saying
You desire a safe space to process and explore the questions or doubts you hold
You would like to discover and cultivate in your life deeper love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
The list goes on. Like I said, spiritual direction is for everyone. No matter how your faith is shaped or what shape your faith is in, you are welcome.
If you decide to try spiritual direction, what might a session be like? A spiritual direction session lasts about an hour, and sessions are usually held every 3-6 weeks. You get to decide the frequency, but I will say that consistency is key. It isn’t something you have to commit to for forever, but it is something that is best experienced when it is practiced regularly. Not only does that commitment allow you to build trust with your spiritual director, but also, deep exploration and listening take time.
Spiritual direction sessions are grounding, sacred, and pretty straightforward—not nearly as “woo-woo” as some might assume. A session usually begins with a centering offered by the spiritual director {unless, of course, you want to dive right in}. That centering could be a couple moments of silence, a few deep breaths, a poem, a blessing, a psalm. It really depends on what you feel you need in order to settle in. Then, you have the freedom to bring whatever you want to bring, whether it feels super “spiritual” or just pretty regular. You can bring an experience, a hope, a struggle, a wondering, all in the context of your right-now life. There might even be times you show up and are unsure about what you want to talk about—that’s okay too. It all counts. Because God is with you in the middle of it all.
Now, I could go on, but my friend and fellow spiritual director Renee Davis Meyer has some great insight on what you might talk about in a session. I definitely recommend you check it out!
Whatever you might bring, as you share and process, a trained spiritual director will listen, maybe ask a discerning question, provide space for silence and reflection, and perhaps offer their own wondering or noticing related to you and your experience, as the Spirit leads. Then, as the hour comes to an end, you once again decide what you need in order to close the session out.
In the context of our faith, we know we are prone to forget. We know our awareness of God with and within us will falter. We know we won’t always notice and follow the promptings of the Spirit. And yet, we also trust that God is present. We trust that God is at work. And spiritual direction is a resource—a reminder of sorts—that can help us remember.
So today, as you continue to become the person God calls and invites you to be, remember to consider spiritual direction as a resource, a practice, a reminder. As we step into and explore the canyon that is our life, our experience, our very being, may we listen. May we notice. May we deepen and grow in our awareness of God-With-Us and God-Within-Us, remembering and discovering God’s presence and movement in the middle of it all.