Embarrassing moments. We all have them. Probably plenty of them. In fact, I was recently asked about my MOST embarrassing moment and I struggled to pick just one. While I don’t know that I can claim this as THE most embarrassing moment, here is what I shared:

Some people know this about me, but when I was in high school, I sang in our youth worship band at church. I still sing, but not as often as I used to. Back in the day, I took some voice lessons here and there, but I was never really trained and I can’t read music. Basically, I can carry a tune, but I’m not going to make it on The Voice or American Idol if that makes sense.

Anyway, I remember on one particular Sunday, we were going to lead a worship song that started with the just the vocals. Now, the vast majority of songs I would sing, really all the songs I would sing, started with the instruments playing. Because I sing by ear, I would just match my voice to the key of the instruments. Easy enough. However, as I mentioned, we were going to be leading a song that started with vocals and I don’t think I realized what I was getting myself into and you can probably see where this is going…

As far as I know, everything went well during practice. I don’t really remember much about it, but it obviously went well enough to go ahead with leading it for the youth group. So the time came to begin the song. I started to sing and all was well for about the first three seconds. But once the instruments joined in, it became very clear that something was very wrong. Turns out, I started the song in the wrong key.

It sounded horrible. A complete disaster. Absolutely cringe-worthy. And the worst part was, I didn’t even realize it in the moment. I mean, I knew it sounded bad, but I couldn’t figure out why. I thought maybe the instrumentalists were off somehow. So, I just kept singing. Waiting for them to fix it. Through the entire song. And everyone in the room had to listen to it.

After the song ended and I realized (or rather, was told by everyone else in the band) that I started in the wrong key, I was mortified. Absolutely humiliated. I can look back at it now and laugh at my high school self, but in the moment, I was a wreck. 

This should come as no surprise, but humiliation is something we tend to avoid at all costs. And for good reason. A bruised ego feels awful. Embarrassment sticks around. But here’s the thing. We are not called to be humiliated, but we are called to something I mention often around here. I imagine because humiliation is such a difficult, negative experience, and in an effort to steer clear of it, sometimes we avoid our actual call to humility. 

The two words sound similar. They may even share a root word. But there’s a difference. Humiliation is something that happens to us, something we experience, or that we are capable of causing for someone else. Humility, on the other hand, is a trait or a virtue we develop. Humble is something we are or become. 

For the longest time, I thought that in order to have humility or to be humble, I needed to somehow intentionally put myself down or deny any sort of encouragement or affirmation. But I’ve learned that doing so is dishonest. And really, what humility is, is honesty about who we are. 

It’s having a healthy ego or sense of self. Not thinking too highly or too lowly. I’ve definitely done both. Really, it’s not being preoccupied with ones self at all. As Rick Warren so famously said, 

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself, less.”

In Matthew 11:28-30, we read a familiar passage from Jesus. In it, he says,

28 “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Now, usually this a passage we refer to when we’re talking about rest or our to-do lists. But recently, I’ve discovered that maybe, the passage has a lot to say about humility, too. Jesus calls us to learn from him, for he is gentle and humble in heart. And in this passage, it seems like Jesus is laying the groundwork. If we are going to learn from Jesus and reflect his character in the world around us, it starts with humility.

And I think part of why we start there is because a humble heart creates space for the Holy Spirit to lead and work. It tills the soil that cultivates the Fruit of the Spirit. And it sets the stage for the character of Christ to be on display in our every day lives. Without humility, we’re just trying to orchestrate something we can never manufacture on our own. Without humility, the focus is on us. And the burden of self-focus is exhausting.  

Maybe that’s why Jesus calls the weary and heavy burdened to learn from him, first and foremost, about humility. Because when we start with humility, we know we don’t have to puff ourselves up to matter.

When we start with humility, we don’t have to protect our egos, we don’t have to be our own worst critics, and we don’t have to prove ourselves.

When we start with humility, the pressure is off because we recognize that we already belong.

When we start with humility, our world grows and expands because we realize it doesn’t revolve around us.

When we start with humility, we are better able to experience and exude the character of Jesus in the world around us. 

There are a lot of books and articles and sermons about humility. And there is a lot more I could share here, too. I mean, I’m only scratching the surface. But, last week in Reminder 40, I shared a bit about my experience learning a passage of Scripture by heart. And if Jesus calls us to learn from him, specifically about humility, well, I think the passage I learned is a reminder of what humility looked like for Jesus. And that’s a great place to start. The passage is titled, “Imitating Christ’s Humility” and it’s found in Philippians 2:1-11.

If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, 2 make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. 5 Let the same mind be in you that was[a] in Christ Jesus,

6 who, though he was in the form of God,

    did not regard equality with God

    as something to be exploited,

7 but emptied himself,

    taking the form of a slave,

    being born in human likeness.

And being found in human form,

8 he humbled himself

    and became obedient to the point of death—

    even death on a cross.

9 Therefore God also highly exalted him

    and gave him the name

    that is above every name,

10 so that at the name of Jesus

    every knee should bend,

    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue should confess

    that Jesus Christ is Lord,

    to the glory of God the Father.

What can learn from Jesus about humility? What does Christ’s humility look like?

It looks like sharing. Compassion. Selflessness. Service. Care. Vulnerability. Emptying. Lowering. Obedience. Faithfulness. Sacrifice. Love. It’s a life committed to the way of descent, willing to give up power, a life devoid of self-focus, a life willing to give itself away.

Today, if you’re weary from the burden of self-focus, remember to start with humility. Not thinking too highly or too lowly, but honestly, about who you are. May we be open to the invitation of learning from Jesus and cultivating a humble heart.